pushing, going

climbing.
it's not that results-oriented after all, i've come to realize.
true, ultimately it is how high you go to that determines one's ability (sometimes), but this is an individual sport (that we undertake as a team), so it's ourselves that we should want to beat.

from nsscc, i've seen climbers stuck at really early parts on the route, not a few metres away from the ground.
this is where the cheers come in, encouraging the climber to keep on going, to push herself and just do it. the climber tries, and tries. reaches for it, almost there, almost there, but doesn't get it.
yet she tries again, the cheers grow louder, "come on! go for it!"
she reaches, pushes herself.
she may not be executing a beautiful twist, or being in the best tripod position, but she reaches for it, and holds on. here, the cheers are the loudest.

she has gone past her own crux, she must feel good about the fact that she didn't give up.
she may not have gone high, she may not have reached the actual crux, but she has overcome her own barrier, and this i think, is beautiful.
she may not be wholly satisfied with her ability, but one can always improve.
it starts with determination and attitude.

encouragements may come in the most at the wall's most difficult part, and at the climber's own difficult part. but i think it is more so for the climber's own. may not be true though.
i saw our girls climb qualifyings and finals, and when it got to the crux of the route, they did it fairly easily, so it was fine.
it was just, like, "wow she did it! that's great! she did it so easily!"
there may be times when people do a crux easily and they get the loudest cheers though it was a breeze for them because it secures their ranking.
well, good for them, truly. that's what we're all fighting for anyway.

come to think of it, getting past a crux is for the team and school (positions, ranking..), for the "feel good" feeling that you have made it past one of the more difficult parts of the route.
overcoming personal obstacles, i'd like to think of it as doing it for myself, and for the friends who have come to encourage and push.

there's so much to learn from climbing. okay, for others sports too maybe, but still.
a team will not exist forever, this is only as a PDP. in the unlikely event that anyone (of us) pursues further climbing, it becomes mostly for ourselves already, does it?

all my long life i never experienced sharing experiences as a team, and it's just depressing to think that it lasts for but a year, or a year plus.
i'm frequently posting about climbing because it's currently what i love the most and what's the most important to me.
uhm, what's one of the most important i mean.
and because it's going to fade from my life soon.
i know that i won't take it up in future, aside from it being a CCA. that is, if i can actually get into a university.

speaking of which, uncertainty clouds my crystal ball. i can't see where i'm going to be.
my crystal ball only reflects my face, and on my face, i see the words,

STUDY IF YOU WANT TO GO ON.