2 - 1 = 1

what is it with crazily high heels and high socks now.

why is it that models can look so good with it but no where do you ever see it on the streets.
haha i would like to see someone wear it though.

and my first of many mid-life crisis(es?) is here! 
yeah okay crisis singular, crisis plural whatever.
it was something i was thinking of after MCTs, but never did it.
i was so conflicted on thursday, being quite very sure to drop chemistry one period and feeling very uncertain the next.
on friday my decision was more or less stabilised, but was still having doubts. 

chemistry had been my favourite subject for the longest time. and science has been my favourite subject for all of time. as in cause only in sec 3 onwards did we split science into its branches to study.
doing so badly for chemistry has been quite a bit heartbreaking for me.
but i really cannot do it.
i have been wanting to work in something chemistry-y though i have no idea what, and almost went to poly doing something bio-chem-my. i went to jc not solely cause i didn't know what i want, but cause it was conventional, boring, just like me. and cause since i could, why not?

i thus wanted to remain in h2, just like i did after MCTs. 
i wasn't sure if i did so badly cause my skull is too thick, or cause i (admittedly) didn't study.
cause 4 h2s are better.
cause i will study harder, or so, i tried to convince myself.

yet what if? what if i just cannot understand chemistry?
if 3 months are not enough? i'll end up devoting shit load time to chemistry and neglect my other subjects. 
what if i end up getting a C for h2 chem when i could get a B, maybe, for h1? i'll lose out, and not by a bit either. a fourth h2 doesn't really help much, or so my CT said, unless it's for scholarships or what not. 
long have i given up hope of studying medicine, i can laugh at that dream.
but hey, it was when i was actually you know, doing well. yeah in secondary school.

i really hope i can cope better. 
i really do.
i don't want to seek tuition for my other badly done subs cause my math tuition is madly expensive. to me la.
which is why i only have it twice a month! which is so damn infrequent.
so envy people who have all subjects tuition, it's mad. imho.

sighs my nails are very ugly the paint has chipped, and though i badly wanted to wear slippers just now, i had to wear shoes):
need to remove the paint asap.