and it can only get better

hitting the trough, there's nowhere to go but up.
unless life has a new equation for you, where next to the trough, there's a little deeper taste of hell.
i'm gonna mope and mourn a bit first before i wake up.

i was in church last sunday, and she shared about her mission trip to chiang mai. she went to an orphanage, and what struck me the most was not much about the gospel sharing or God's provision, but more of.. the orphans' stories.
here i am thinking i've hit rock bottom when i don't get all As (yeah cause that's totally my expectations yeah?), and there they are, not too far away.

his family was ultimately poor, no money for food. for groceries.
have you ever imagine, no money for food? i can't, cause i'm spoilt that way.
they lived in a rural village, so his mum, probably, went to the woods to collect mushrooms/fungi for dinner.
that poor.
he was unwell, feeling sick. he lay in bed, skipped dinner.
and woke to find his family dead, of poisoning.
whole. family. dead.

his widowed mother remarried, but his step-dad disliked him, so his mother sold him for a few thousand thai baht. that's about SG$100.
his step-dad's sister bought him back and tried to take care of him, but her husband didn't like him.
she had to then send him to the orphanage, it was as good as not having parents.

this is not a story behind why she was in the orphanage, but it struck a nerve too.
in her previous orphanage, she was bullied badly.
she was a shy girl, sweet and soft-spoken.
the bully had used a knife to "slice" her face. like make a cut. how deep, i don't know. deep enough to leave a scar.
she's a mild girl, and she got scolded and punished for getting that injury, inflicted by the bully.

he had three other siblings, a fisherman dad, a housewife mum.
he was no more than age 7 when he was with his dad on a fishing trip, where his dad drowned before his very eyes.
helpless to save his dad, he watched his dad die.
poor, very very poor. the mother couldn't support the children, she had no choice but to send the eldest two to the orphanage.
the girl who went for the mission trip then asked if he was happy in the orphanage, and he said yes.
he said yes, because of these two things that he has now in his life: food, and education.
food, and education.
how many of us reject these daily in our lives?
me, for one.

this week has not been a pleasant one, and it's straining to constantly remind myself of these two words, food and education.
i am so tempted to give up my education to someone who can appreciate it.
i can't, though,
and yes, i am appreciative of it.
just.. a little bitter.

did you read the news? it's children's day tomorrow.
the newspaper reports on the situations of children in cambodia, india, afghanistan, and somalia. i forgot when i read it, yesterday, was it?
child prostitution in cambodia. tens of thousands prostitutes in the capital of cambodia alone, thousands of it made up if children.
yeah gp knowledge that don't i dig up.
why? cause having sex with a virgin will bring health, luck, youth, happiness, less chance of getting aids.
thinking back, i'm surprised they didn't report about the children in africa.

india, child marriages. children bearing children, raising them when they're still children.
imagine, she will get to "celebrate" children's day, mothers' day, ... at once.
so fortunate, innit?
expected to do hard labour, receiving no education..
did you see the time magazine feature on the girl who had her nose cut off when she tried to run away from her abusive in-laws? her husband cut off her ears and nose, left her to die in the mountainside.

afghanistan, somalia. which is which, i forgot. but, child soldiers. they die first.
human mine detectors.
mere children.
many children are the family's sole breadwinner.
hard labour, ghastly working conditions, exposure to toxic chemicals, abuse, little sleep....
can you imagine?
i can't, really can't.

i didn't write this post to "show off" how much i care about others. or pretending to be like, oh wow so.. thoughtful.
but really, it's like, shit, i have school tomorrow. dayum i wanna skip school. i wanna not go to school forever.
and, yuck! fried rice? no! i want fish and chips.

because i am so thoughtful,

i cannot find anything to finish the sentence above.