drissie's magical cough potion - make you cough!

(advert)

as most of us are, fine i know i am, LAZY, i (we) all don't want to exercise by jogging, doing 'em hard sit ups, crunches, leg lifts, yadayada...

want a fast, efficient way of getting those wanted abs? ,

WITHOUT REALIZING THAT YOU'RE ACTUALLY EXERCISING?

you must be thinking, what? what is this product that she's trying to sell? so good meeeeh, that time the slim 10 don't know gave the who kidney problems. weeeelll i'm not selling some slimming products yo! this is TRUE BLUE DEFINED MUSCLES up for grabs!
you can sit at work and gain those abs.
or while watching tv.
doing homework.
the limitations are endless.

you : " SO WHAT IS THIS MAGICAL THING ALREADY?!"

as you can see from the title, i.. am.. providing COUGH FORMULAS!
you know when you do math, formulas make a problem solvable right?
in this case it's different. my potion MAKES YOU COUGH! it's actually "solving" the "problem" of not having abs la!

once you take this potion (collected from 101 species of sick humans and animals, including the cough germ, isolated, mucus, blood of a sick person, nail of a sick animal..), you are guaranteed to get the coughs in a day!

soon enough, you'll be coughing through the day and working those abs hard, without the need for any sit ups!
i myself can be a living testimonial.
already i feel my (non existent at the moment ): ) abs getting achy from all these coughing.
each cough will tighten your muscles by a bit and imagine getting a 18 hour exercise! (assuming 6 hour sleep)

results guaranteed! hurry and buy drissie's magical cough potions now!

fine print: effects may include being unable to breathe due to block nose, noise pollution from blowing nose and coughing,  not realizing snot is drooping out of your nose, a nasal voice, the inability to ever stop coughing - but that means extremely defined abs -, and possibly giving the cough to others, free of charge! lucky them.

email drissiecoughpotion@cough.com today to place an order NOW!

____________________________________________________

on a side note, i stuffed all the tissue i used to clean my nose today into a plastic bag with a milo cup from this morning, AND I LEFT IT ON MY DESK IN FULL VIEW OF MY 132345 SUPERVISORS / BOSSES. fml.
the whole bag was filled with tissues. disgusting much?