my last chem post ever / rant post.

i've talked about chemistry so much, it should have it's own label.
it's just that.. i'm too hung up over it!
thing is, my mum's disappointed for me that i can't get into the course i wanna get into because of H1 chem.
she was saying, didn't your teacher tell you of the implications?
didn't i research what courses i wanna take?
at that point in time, all i really wanted to do was save my grades. i couldn't care less.
yes i don't mind not taking some chemical engineering, or chemistry in science. i have no idea la but i mean if my hH2 chem cui, how to take uni chem.
but i don't like physics, how to use it man.
engineering, i have no idea what engineering is lor.
i went to NUS open house and asked at least 4 people, "what is engineering? not your course, i mean like generally, what is engineering?"
gwen dictionary-ed it for me too, but i still somehow don't get it.
have future not???

see the thing is, i admire gwen cause she's taking (planning to) take lit / liberal arts. not The Typical 10000 Career Opportunities course.
i wanna go business cause i still don't know what i wanna do, and business is like damn general.
i reckon at least a quarter of business students go business because they have no idea what to study, and cause have career.

see, the thing that upsets me most is........ i know what i want. i've found the course that interests me 100 times more than chemistry / bio engineering / science.
it's environmental studies.
and i really want it so much.
it's a new subject, this year would be it's pioneer year.
it requires H2 chem.

the two subjects i really like in secondary school are geog and chem. physical geog esp.
i don't wanna take geog though.
and i didn't take it in JC cause....... idk. econs was the norm.
i hate it leh, time is really running out and i have no damn idea what to apply for.
i'm scared of not having career opportunities, i'm scared i won't have friends, again.
i'm scared of the work load, the work, WHAT TO WEAR, fml bimbo much!
i'm scared of change, really.

on another note, i've gone crazy spending money. HOWEVER, i have slowed down. really lor i intend to buy intend to buy, then i'll be oh so paiseh tell the people (many people) uh sorry okay i don't want thanks.
then again.
i wanna talk about my job.
you know what, i don't wanna talk about my job.
i'm just TGIF, TG for my results, TG for everything i have now and in the past, in the future.
there are now 6 telemarketers, so for lunch the big boss wants us to split wthbbq. i eat with two others who don't.
lemme make it clear, while i have lunch, eating proper food, the pretty boy drinks a drink, the pretty girl drinks a drink.
y-u-p-p.
so today was the start of my new duties at work, doing admin stuff.
i was damn stressed over it, cannot take it, damn anxious and everything, my stomach was flipping and churning.
i had no appetite for lunch, and since i was with two people who don't eat lunch anyway, we went upstairs to look at uni applications.
and then at 5+ i had stomach pain.
like damn hungry kind.
i went home and drink soup, eat food, still pain wth!
THEN i laid on my bed chatting on the phone and it solved everything!
hahaha must be the lovely person i talked to ahahahaha. not must be la, confirm la.
right?
NOW PAIN AGAIN.
hungry la wa lao.

OH since this post so long why not make it longer hor.
3 things left to rant.

1: justin bieber is not bad lor! i kinda like him! NO REALLY. very pretty!

2: IN LOVE with "the ballad of mona lisa" by panic! at the disco. obsessed with brandon urie now. in the music video. and some others. but still, can't stand some parts of them, like what weird repetition in "i write sins not tragedies" and what "lying is the most fun girls can..." something something.
still, "BALLAD OF MONA LISA" FTW X100!

3: i received my pair of highwaist shorts and WTHBBQ i took 15 mins to button it up!
it has 4 buttons, i probably took 3 mins and all my strength to pull it together and button it up.
and the remaining 12 mins for the remaining 3 buttons.
I NEVER REALISED I WAS THIS FAT.
yes kor kor i will go run with you next time.
but i love it leh! it's so damn tight, i puff out my stomach still flat!
but have muffin top wtf. at my ribs area. and my ribs area is not fat lor! is cause squeeze so tight under my ribs then my ribs pop out and look fat fml.
i think that's why i stomach pain now hahaha cause i squeeze my stomach like shit like that.

a lot of other stuff to update la i mean, no one reads this anymore, i checked, my last month's views all contributed by me, and i like to blog (or in my case, bullsh), but i'm just lazy lor.

to end of, i'd just like to say it was so damn hard to button the shorts that my fingernail tore away like 0.0001mm away from the nail bed and is bleeding like 0.00001ml of blood.
hurts la aiyoh.
that's how fat i am heeheeheeeeeee.