kristal

which is more difficult: to change back to something you were, or change.. along with time?

i admit i am callous with my words sometimes, most times. and sometimes, most times, i regret it, but i don't say.

i feel like vomiting. but it just can't come out. try to force puke? maybe i should do that. maybe i can force myself to become bulimic. calvin made my day today when he said that i looked like i lost weight. a very nice thing to say of course, even though i know it's not true. still nice to hear. always nice to hear compliments. it's nice to have a friend who is so honest with me. "you aren't too fat.. yet". it's.. nice. "did you gain weight? your arms look.. bigger" "wow kristal. your arms. big." it says something, doesn't it?

it's say, kristal, you're a big girl.

kristal kristal kristal. yepp call me kristal. not kris, not anything intimate, affection, just plain, formal, cold, kristal.