mishy

this post is gonna be mildly messy, [hence mishy]. separate issues separated by **.

**
on hindsight, i guess yesterday's issue was not that serious.
but im not one who will admit that it's my fault, so, true, i shouldn't have left the lighter out in the first place, but louis knew where it was all along, in my drawer.

**

j1s first day yesterday!
we were supposed to be strict and not be like, friendly with them, but nearing the end i guess we kind of half failed.
not really in our nature to be mums, all of us.
hope the first few boring trainings wont scare them away.

after training they were in the canteen waiting for us to have dinner together!
that's damn sweet and it got us all soft and mushy right before circuit, haha.
don't know if it's a good or bad thing to be climbing so little before circuit.
don't feel as tired and fingers not as pain, but on the other hand, not.. worked up enough.
but i guess it's fine either way.

to <3 : i know it must suck to feel lousy about yourself, especially under stressful conditions such as circuit.
i can't ask you not to feel like this because moods don't change at the snap of fingers.
you aren't one to remain upset about things like that anyway, but do cheer up, cause circuit is not a measure of how good one is, it's training for endurance and power.
love you and hope you're fine the next time round.

**

it scares me how some indication tells me i understand a certain topic based on how many marks i got for the test, when i actually don't.
yeah econs.
and gp, it's really scary how my grades for gp fluctuate like maaaaaaaad.
please please please stop giving my false hope please please.

**
[this section is not from the viewpoint of an angel. im not a very nice person, just saying]

i was going home from school, at the school bus stop.
i plugged in to music.
the bus came.
i got onto the bus.
then i heard a noise, so i lowered my music, and turns out that there was this guy, a big boy really, shouting.
i was intrigued, so i stopped my music and listen for a while.
he was shouting so loud the whole bus could hear him. so so loud.
that would be mildly scary, especially since i was less than a metre away from him, if it wasn't for the fact that he was just a big boy, and he was shouting,
"ninja! neenjaa! NNEEEEEENNJAAAA! NEEENNJAA TURTLES!"
it was so so hard to keep myself from laughing.

i know, very bad right?
but still!
i decided the way to keep from laughing is to listen to my music.
up the volume.
but then i heard continuous shouting, just an "ahhh".
so i paused my music, and he went
"space delta control! space! delta! space...."
and "ivan choo choo train! chooo chooo. CHOOO CHOOOO! CHIIIIIUUUUU CHHIIIIIIUU TRAIN!"
he kept repeating it over and over and over so damn loud.
and i really had to bite my lip to stop laughing.
it was funny.

if you're still wondering how this is bad, he's from metta.
yyyya.
and i decided, no it's wrong to laugh at it.
it's not funny at all.
and i thought, what if, what if he was my brother? my friend? my son?
and then it wasn't a bit funny anymore.
it was sad.

but plainly out of curiosity, i lowered the volume of the music again.
i caught this, which is quite interesting actually.
"ezlink card, sizzylink card, cheezylink card, drizzylink card"
shouting of course.
it wasn't funny, it was just interesting.
which i don't find bad okay!

it nice to know how the people on the bus didn't make any comments to him or blatantly stare at him.
well.
it was an interesting ride home.