ramblejamble

in church today, i suddenly remembered someone saying about how this girl claims to "love Jesus but hates Christians, the Church and the Bible", like, how is that even possible?
i agreed then, because you know, they go together don't they?
but as i go through my own struggles with my faith, i realized how distinct they can become. i am in no position to argue whether or not they should overlap or are overlapping, but the line is becoming more distinct for me. after all, isn't the Bible (and/or its interpretations), the Church (management and administration), and its people, the work of man?
i find it very difficult to reconcile all these together, and it's difficult for me because my mum is such a believer i can't find it in me to take a break from all these and try to look at it objectively, or find out more .. because i am lazy.
it's not like i doubt the existence of a one and only God, but the whole thing, or system, or ritual, seems so hard to accept. like why must there be worship every sunday? why is worship is a proper order? i don't know! i'm just questioning everything now, and i question myself the most.
how did i end up this way? i don't want to be over cynical, nor too ignorant. i just hope to find acceptance within myself one day.