My first time I cooked a meal for myself in a long long while.
I cannot recall cooking something since I started work.
I did, just last Monday, cooking pasta and adding it to instant Campbell's soup as a sauce, but I wanted something less.. instant.
So today, I put a pan of water on boil,
tooked out a frozen chicken breast,
put it in tap water to quickly thaw it,
put the pasta in the boiling water,
took the still half frozen chicken and added any old spice to it. 
Shook out some thyme, rosemary, tabsco, salt, corn flour, cinnamon, stir stir stir.checked on the pasta, chopped up a chilli and garlic,took out the cooked pasta,(look at that time management whoop)and stir fried the chicken in greek yoghurt.pretty good, all in all. no sauce, but everything is pretty non-canned / non-instant!

but i'm still really tired. it's 1:21am as i am typing this, and i went for tuition today, and then for a movie How To Be Single.and i realized i'm still trying to find someone to be with me, and i'm not.. good at being single.i want to have someone on the other end so much i am playing the part of the giver and i'm not receiving. like a girlfriend, who has a boyfriend who doesn't care about her.except i shouldn't have expected anything.is this like, something i want????? just to have someone acknowledge my presence, my existence, i give and give and give when the other is so obviously not willing to give back. 
i'm really so tired, and last week just brought up old ghosts and it made me question my choices, decisions and mistakes.and future ones.

i wanted to stay away from humans, humans are complicated creatures but i know that that's only because i want and i expect too much
okay i have a shitload of marking to do hahahaha this is what happens when you have too little money and you spend too much and so you end up with no time to do your real work and spend extra time doing extra work

just kidding it's because i procrastinate and i luv sleep