places to visit in Singapore, for a tourist

so where should one go when coming to singapore?
obviously i have a lot of time on my hands, and while passing by major attractions like GBTB i thought of how lovely it would be to visit it. as a resident and as a tourist. but for tourists, tryna get the "singapore feel", one should experience not just the attractions, right? so there was this HDB experience thing? not sure. anyway, made up this list off the top of my head, for no particular reason. just thought it'd be nice. comments not supported by evidence btw.

in no order of importance,

1. Little India
because singapore is multiracial yada yada. indian food and shopping galore! if you're into indian food and uhm, garlands i suppose?
but what if i told you that you'll see more foreigners than locals in little india, especially at night and on the weekends? that it holds dorms for bangladeshi workers in conditions you'd never thought possible? 40 men a room, anyone?
getting the singapore feel innit? having fun?

2. Chinatown
no, singapore is not in china. but yes we do have chinese people. i'd say we make up the majority. with the ever increasing number of foreign talent and workers alike, i can't be so sure for the near future.
i was on the bus the other day with loud foreigners, and they were talking about some asian chick. i started to wonder if they even knew we can understand them. "excuse me sir we speak english too".
anyhoo, chinatown!
no tour of little china (singapore) is complete without looking at our history, right?
chinatown, the ultimate preserved heritage site of singapore. untouched to stand as a site of history and education to the little ones of singapore... or not. we don't have land to work and live as it is why waste space preserving culture when they are aplenty in our ageing population?
do drop by for some "authentic" nanyang coffee though. as authentic as it can get, with iced blended coffee in plastic domed cups. sure they served em in the '50s.

3. Kampong Glam
dunno anything about this i am ashamed as a singaporean..... or am i?
included it because i have to be equally multi racial.

4. Bugis
which explains the inclusion of bugis. for.. the whites i am supposing?
used to be a prostitute site, didn't reflect well on singapore and the whites i am guessing, revamped into a shopping area with the what, largest street market something something?
newly opened iluma renamed into bugis+ a while later. can drop by bras basah too for a 5-storey Popular store. can be found in singapore (essential where textbooks can be found besides school bookshops), malaysia and some other country.

5. Gardens by the Bay.
ah..... one of singapore's newest attraction. uhm, with the intention of bringing the greens back to the urban... OH EXCEPT THAT it's built upon reclaimed land (not so natural there innit), probably cleared the vegetation used to stabilise the land (accuracy unchecked at all), it's bringing hundreds of foreign species of plants to occupy the small land in the gardens. what's with singapore's trend of un-nativising singapore? not that i'm complainin, hellllooo foreigners.
oh what's that? the super trees have another name? right, they're called super ugly.
like skeletal-branches-inverted-umbrellas-not-really-a-mushroom kind of thing. oh right it redeems itself by capturing solar power, to power the lights it displays at night which uses MORE POWER THAN IT CAPTURES. also the dome that is refrigerated. air-conditioned if you prefer. huge dome, keeping them plants in a cool state. who asked the plants if they liked the temperate or the tropical huh? and who's paying for the 24/7 cooled temperatures? not the pathetic entrance fees. ENTRANCE FEES? why are there entrance fees for a public garden?
right it's a tourist attraction. come off with the "bringing greens to the urban" already. yawningbread wordpress had an excellent article about it i was forced to read.
despite all my little complaints, i love GBTB. i do. it's like... bringing greenery into this little clean and green city. yep. real, natural greens just the way nature ought it to be.

6. HDB flats.
i dunno. i mean, most singaporeans live in HDBs right? and it's kinda unique to singapore with no land so we go vertical and not lateral?
so.. for a tour, i suggest going into an HDB, taking the lift up and down, and then wow! the singapore experience! don't forget to pose with lift buttons. or corridors. try pinnacle @ duxton for the upper class flats. and then toa payoh one room rentals for the sad ones. if you listen hard enough, you may chance upon a husband abusing a wife in one of these houses.

7. Parks, inclusive of park connectors and reservoirs like Bedok Reservoir
uhm, you can find people jogging? this i happen to see on some site. "where to go in singapore? bishan park" uh ya like going to the beach, take a walk. splash some water in the reservoir, if you're allowed to go there. don't drown, bedok reservoir's (in)famous for drownings. do you know, NeWater is so clean, you have to mix it with reservoir water to de-clean it?

8. Orchard Road
tourist attraction. shop till you drop, help singapore's economy thank you very much.

9. Schools
well see, singapore's education system is wonderful. wonderful! try visiting the primary schools. secondary too. or the junior colleges. strict curriculum, not unusual. lack of creativity. uniforms. sad sad kids flooding out of schools as late as 5pm, even with teachers as late as 7pm. heading for tuition straight after. schools are a joy to visit.
try the universities if you're feeling depressed. pop in for a lecture or two. we have 3 local universities recognised by the state. one's so ulu don't even bother. one you can drop by while at orchard. the "best" one's in the west. take a look at the school producing sex-scandal teachers and sex-blogger students.

10. MBS
oh ya MBS because it helps our economy thank you very much again.

so i did this post solely because i feel singapore is a sad sad place and i havent explored it yet, i am a sad singaporean. but anyway. i fully embrace what singapore is turning into- nothing. i love hollow things. like my tummy is right now.